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Saturday, December 17, 2005

Bah Humbug

Every Christmas growing up, I would ask Santa Claus to make it snow. I wanted the Christmas magic that I had seen on the Sesame Street and Charlie Brown holiday specials. I dreamed of a big seasonal obstacle that closed roads and schools. The only time they closed school in San Francisco was when the Richter scale was at 5.7. I mean, where was the heroism in making it to Grandma's house for Christmas Eve when it was partially cloudly with a chance of storms?

But now that I've experienced a few New York winters, I'm over it. Forget snow. Like my Irish babysitter once told me, why would anyone ask for snow? Sure, it's nice when it's falling, but once it's here it's wet, slippery, and suddenly yellow (?).

And even without snow, we still have a we still have a winter in CA, despite preconceived notions of East Coasters. Sure, it consists mostly of gnarly swells and flash flood warnings, but it's winter all the same. So for a California christmas, I want to do away with all east coast imports. No more holly, no more sleigh bells, no more snow. This Christmas, I want to do it like they do in the Castro District -- a fake white tree with hot pink lights to guide Santa through the soupy fog just in time for christmas morning.


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